Giving in or letting go of a Relationship

It’s very common these days for people to want to be in a relationship, not a bad thing, but where it becomes an issue is we get hurt and instead of learning from it we just jump right into another relationship. Not only are we avoiding the hurt, but we’re avoiding the lesson to be learned from what happened. It’s like we refuse and the more we do it the more we are gonna care less about anyone or even our own feelings. Yes, these days it is very common to look around and see everyone you know happy and smiling and in a relationship. Then it hits you, what about me? Where’s the person to make me happy? Where’s the person I can share these special moments with? We get that brief moment of sadness and loneliness, we’ve all had it happen to us at some point. Whether we want to confirm or deny it. A lot of times though, we let that get to us and we go on this search. We look under rocks and in bushes searching for what we call “Mr/Mrs Right.” Let me be the first to tell you I don’t believe in “the one” I don’t believe there is someone just out there waiting for you. I solemnly believe that we meet someone and it either works or doesn’t. But I will say you will know when you’ve met that someone (as I type this as a single male). You will know but the stigma and fantasy we’ve created, ladies, that there is some man on a white horse wearing shiny armor and he is so dreamy and he has everything we see in a guy. Dudes, there is no such thing as a perfect woman and ladies there is no such thing as a perfect dude. No matter who you meet, there will be something about them but it’s not gonna be the dividing point between you. The foolish thing that seems to be a reoccurring theme is people date, get married, without even getting to know each other and really the only thing they’ve shared is intimacy with one another and they’ve not even bothered to get know one another. When all you explore is sex with each other and you base that off whether you’ll get married or not it is no shock that 50% of marriages end in divorce. Not very happy to hear is it? But it’s true, there is a 50/50 that your marriage is gonna workout. Let’s step away from that statistic for a moment.

I wanna talk to you about the factor of you can either get to know yourself better or you can just jump into relationships just cause and not have any serious intent. Let be the one to say that if you don’t take relationships seriously, you shouldn’t be in one. Let me also make clear that if you can’t maintain a stable relationship, then you probably shouldn’t be in one. It’s all the rave these days to have “friends with benefits” but let me explain something to you here, you don’t really maintain a “friendship” with the person you’re sleeping with. There’s more to it than that. That person you’re sleeping with, you’re sharing a special moment with that originally was meant to be shared after marriage. which is the whole point of marriage for you to share your intimate moment with that one person. Before you condemn me and say i’m judging those who haven’t done that, i’m not. I’m simply stating what happens each time you share an “intimate” moment with someone. Would you also be surprised to know that gradually over time you feel nothing if you just went around sleeping around? So that’s why most men or women who do, do that don’t really “feel” anything emotion wise cause it’s something they do like a habit so they have no “special” feeling towards the person they’re with. But here’s where change things a bit, my reason behind this is for you to ask yourself “Am I actually ready for such a commitment or do I need to get things together in my life?” Let me express to you that if your excuse for not dating is “things aren’t perfect,” spoiler alert! Things are never gonna be perfect. Life is gonna throw you curve balls. Things are gonna pop up. You’re gonna face some difficult times even in or not in a relationship. But the beauty of it is, if you’re in a relationship you can come out of that struggle stronger and a better couple. But the common issue is, we push away the other to go “handle it.” Let me also add that if you two get married, and you have to push away so you can “handle it” it’s not healthy on your relationship or marriage.

My title for this “giving in or letting go of a relationship” because people don’t know how to do either (myself included) from experience I learned the hard way.  We either jump into something with no serious intent or we break up then immediately start looking again. We take no time to ourselves to learn, grow, and not make the same mistake or have the same problem again. For some us, we keep having the same issue in a relationship and we wonder “why, me!?” Maybe if we took the time to ourselves and realized the problem was and has been re-occurring for quite sometime and the solution has been there but we’ve been avoiding it, we wouldn’t be asking why. Secondly, we make the big mistake of saying “i love you” within a week of dating or we just say to be saying it. I love you has become one of those things we just say and no longer has that special feeling when said. We given it so many definitions it’s crazy. We run high on emotions and say things we shouldn’t only to wake up the next day to see what we’ve said and we then realize what we said wasn’t at all serious. I caution you not to say empty words to him or her cause in the end IT WILL bite you in the butt. We keep running into this issue of he really likes her but she is interested in someone else or its vice versa. The problem with it? We fail to be honest for fear of hurting them. Another spoiler, No matter how nice you try to break it to them it is still gonna hurt but it will hurt less if you tell them immediately and not weeks, months, or years making them think they have a chance. We fail to be honest and we feel the need to just throw our problems on someone hoping it gets fixed but when it doesn’t we up and leave the person. Here’s where people get it wrong about relationships, he or she is not gonna fix your problems. Take a look at the bigger picture here, Here we have a guy who has some struggles and here we have a lady who has some struggles. They seek to date each other, along that relationship they may come across struggles but they should do it together not one handle it themselves. Let me just add if you’re putting your all into something and the other isn’t someone needs to tell you or you need to tell yourself to wake up cause in no way is that right nor healthy. The problems these two had separately they can help one another with, by encouraging or showing care. Doesn’t have to be “you need to do this, this, and this” sorta thing. Although some of us are very stubborn and we have to be told that.

My last point is this, when it comes to a relationship don’t jump the gun and  think you need one to be happy. You can be single and be happy (contrary to what most believe). It’s not miserable, it doesn’t suck either. Chances are if you think being single boring then being in a relationship is gonna be boring to you too. Cause you’re unhappy about something about yourself and if you don’t take the time to yourself to find out things about yourself and examine yourself and change things in your life to be the best you can be. Then relationships are gonna be seen to you as more of a burden then a good thing. Relationships are great if you take them seriously. If you don’t then they’re very short lived and we are often times unhappy with what happens and point fingers at one another over what happened. Take it serious, don’t jump the gun, and be careful not to say something you shouldn’t. If you aren’t ready, don’t pressure yourself to do something you know you aren’t ready for.

Christian Artist or Artist who is Christian? By: OliverDoom

This argument has been going on for decades, and honestly to me it has caused a lot of unnecessary arguments within the Christian community. Mainly due to the fact that people believe Christians should make “Christian music”. But some artists are trying to come out and say they’re “Artists who are Christian”. Personally, when I begun seeing all this I just was conflicted and not really edified in it enough to even spread anything on the matter. I’ve read in Scripture & prayed and even read some books that hit on the issue of, Christians becoming like the world in order to influence it. They feel that the only way to reach them is by doing what the world does, but to some believers your focus gets lost when you go from making music strictly about Christ to making music strictly addressing worldly issues to making an occasional song even speaking on faith in God. This may seem like i’m fully convinced they’ve lost it or have compromised, but to address you on that I wanna say this. Here recently certain rappers who are Christians, addressed whether or not it should be okay to have cussing in their songs. To that they began saying that we should show them grace just like Christ & basically to cut a long story short it was pretty much just them saying it would be okay to cuss in your music & it would still be deemed acceptable. My point is this, is this why they wanted out of the “Christian artist” label? So they could start sometimes using cuss words & more or less adhering to the world? Here’s what i’ve seen thus far as far as the whole “Christian artist or artist who is Christian” issue. The ones running with the label, “artist who is Christian” seem to have grown comfortable in the sense of, they seem to believe there isn’t an example of being worldly in scripture so we somehow to figure it out for ourselves what is worldly & what isn’t. Genuine believers know that this isn’t true. So to me, where does this end? I don’t know because this argument seems to be a big issue currently. To those on the outside looking in, it just looks like they’re no longer interested in making Jesus music they just wanna make some heavy hitting pump up jams that don’t address nor deny Jesus. But why are we even at a point to where we feel like we should be not mentioning Christ & preferring it to be more on the back burner. I stated earlier today that to you what is more important, culture or Jesus? Scripture or culture? To an extent culture is a good thing but when you start letting influence you so much that you lose sight of things what are you more focused on & what has become of lesser focus in the process? Some might say something a long the lines of, well Jesus reached out to the lowest of the low & hung out with them so should we. I wanna challenge you with something on that before I continue, Jesus did these things without being tempted or sinning, can you? No. The problem is we keep letting the world influence us instead of us influencing the world. Each day we get flack for something that we do & in a twisted sense we somehow try to compromise without actually compromising (hopefully this makes sense). I’ll tell you this, personally, I stopped listening to Reach records because, and I know people are gonna disagree or say i’m being judgmental but I stopped because they’re music to me does not any longer promote Christ & though they may profess in their personal lives there music has just utterly confused the entire Christian community. To some it sounds like they’re bridging a gap, to others it just seems like they’ve compromised. The nail in the coffin for me was reading that their mission statement changed & a lot of folks were upset but rapzilla coming into the rescue to try & settle everyone down that nothing has changed and that they fully support Reach. Here’s the issue at hand.. they have changed completely it all started with gravity. Musically, lyrically, & the more some look at it they just want no part because it is too much of a mess to handle or even wanna mess with. The other issue is that people like me typing up something like this will get criticized by artists who claim I don’t know anything or I need to stop assuming or I need to stop telling people how to walk in their own faith. It’s an issue because people who talk about it, get criticized & called a hater or they say, “just satan trying to stop ya keep doing what you’re doing”. They also, may add that I just don’t like these guys but that’s false. People need to understand, that all this commotion has been caused but in the end has it really furthered the Kingdom of God? To me all this arguing about what to actually call these guys is just unnecessary. If you’re Christian, you’re Christian. Stop telling people you don’t want to be associated with the label because there is too much negativity that follows it, you could change that. You could be that change, but wanting to branch off of it just makes people think you do not want association with the title period. When you change your mission statement that’s just strange, because since day one you’ve had this one focus “116” & now you still claim you are but why are you so afraid to say it when you’re interviewed you keep telling people, “I don’t wanna get all preachy or seem like i’m legalistic”. What happened to the backbone, the boldness, where you used to tell people “I’m unashamed”? More than ever it seems we live in a world where Christians are compromising because the world says, “do this, try this, be like this” then we do it. It just seems like we’re influencing the world less & reaching out less because becoming like the world is just so much easier to us. My biggest concern is, I know Christian metal bands who are more on focus than the artists who are Christian. It’s not a popularity contest but it’s an example of how much of an impact you could make if you just stopped bouncing around & accepted the genre. You’re not gonna change that title, to the media you will always be “Christian rap/hip-hop/rock/metal/contemporary” No matter how many times you wanna change it or don’t like it. Personally, I just want some thoughts on what people think about it. I know this is long & it might seem bad but there is a reason why I stopped listening. I just want to challenge & show you what I see.

Focused on me

Nights I’ve spent pondering this have finally come to an abrupt end. Seems all the more as we continue to destroy ourselves we have those that just wish it’d all end & we’d come together in some form of unity. Change for this world would require a complete mental change at how we look at everything. A place where if I believe something & you believe differently we are still able to co-exist? Those that dream of this know its just that , a dream,. Selfishly we lock up our money & pass by homeless folk daily all because we’re above them with our job & money. What we fail to realize is that they just like us are human like us & no one is above or below anyone, doesn’t matter what the government says about money wise. No one is above or below anyone. Yet we stick our noses up at such what we label filthy & lowly folk because they’re not like us? We began truly falling apart as human race when we started thinking so highly of ourselves. You know that favorite actor you like? You are like them but fame tells you otherwise. Favorite musician, you like them are the same but simply because of fame they’re perceived as gods to us, idols to put it correctly. It breaks me down to see people flip out & treat folk so poorly or so highly as if everywhere they go is a red carpet. All of us were created by God & we are all, regardless of your stand or opinion, His creation. Arguments made that we came from anywhere else are truly invalid but as a human race we started examining & researching some non-sense. With research comes good studies & just plain foolish studies. Money has become our centerfold it is our god & the only God has been replaced by numerous idols & falsehoods. But as a human race we beg for hope & change apart from Jesus. We keep getting wake up calls that we are coming to our own destruction. With each debate from candidates the choices get worse & worse. We just want honesty & we want someone who will take a stand but we’re asking for too much of man. We’re relying too much on man & self. Good is not truly good apart from God. Yet we praise the rich & famous. Mock God & Jesus, all while wanting hope & change. In the midst of tragedy we suddenly wanna unify & any other day we want nothing to do with the person to our left or right. We live in a block, ignore, & mute world. I believe this, you believe that well I have to block you because we can’t agree to disagree you’re just too toxic. We push away every person who disagrees & bother not to see why or talk further. Selfishly, we’ve clung to money & famous people as our gods &we fail to see why as a human race we’re destroying ourselves. As technology advances we get lazier & dumber. Books are becoming a thing of the past, going out is becoming a thing of the past, everything is online & each step we get more advanced & get lazier & dumber. When will we open our eyes? We are all people & no fame, money, nor name should put us above or below anyone. We can’t continue to this ‘me, me, me’ mentality because its getting us nowhere & we’re destroying ourselves. On this path we’re going things are just gonna get worse before they get better. Change involves actually making a point to change & not just saying it to grab attention, follows, fame, or friends. We’ve replaced God with these garbage idols & greed has taken over our mind sets. We can’t continue like this.. Eventually the wake up calls will cease..eventually what God promised will happen & then it’ll be too late to change. We must wake up from this blindness, corruption, greed, & selfishness we keep living in.

Addressing the issue in the castle fandom by Lucas Oliver

Normally I’m not one to wanna do this because though I’m just one of the few that I’m sure are growing tired of this, I figured enough tweets & FB posts on it. Lets open up this can of what could turn into a huge argument. Since season 8 started fans have been utterly whiny and rude to the cast, crew, and new additions to castle (hayley played by toks). Since episode one some have said ‘you ruined the show by splitting them up’, others have said ‘I see what you’re doing reminds me of old castle’. Each Monday has been a rant of nothing but people complaining that the new show runners haven’t put caskett back together. Each Monday they watch just enough to see if caskett is gonna make amends & when they don’t they go watch something else and pick up there device and lay into whomever they want about how trash the show is now. First & foremost I wanna address that caskett aren’t split up nor separated, divorcing even though that’s what most what most will utter every time. Secondly, the writers have written some brilliant episodes this season & foolishly more than half the fandom has given into everything has to be about caskett. Forget lanie, espo, Ryan, & Alexis or Martha. They just want caskett & if they don’t have it they cut the tv off. One thing that gets to me more than anything is more than ever the castle fandom has lost any & all respect mainly due to the fact that they’ve been relentlessly laying into the new cast members, show runners & crew as well. Why you might wonder? Because they’re duo aren’t living under the same roof. If you don’t remember at all how passionate Beckett was about finding her mothers killer & she would’ve done anything to get bracken & Richard helped her find that man. But the further down the rabbit hole she goes its not just one man. Which is where we are right now! First episode contained so much explanation as to what could happen if Beckett chased this. But apparently few of us care about story lines & the beauty of this show. Alexi & Terrence have done such a great job but most will never know because they’re too caught up in two characters being together to even care about story lines or backstory. I’ve had some opportunities to chat with some folks who disagree with this season & not a one I’ve talked to has even bothered to see past seasons. They just started watching cause of caskett & got hooked on that. This Mondays episode was a huge example of how rude this fandom has become towards the show itself. People not watching because of Stana & some not watching because of Adam Baldwin, (those that didn’t watch firefly don’t know how awesome it was to have Adam back on castle). They’ve grown reliant on one character, I love Stana & she’s a tremendous actress but at the end of the day getting absolutely obsessed with both her & Nathan is a bit too much. By that I’m referring to telling the writers & show runners the show is trash. As far as ratings go, they’re low because so called fans gave up on the writers when they’ve explained even explained in the episode why they did what they did. But still yet these so called fans have already thrown them under the bus. Yet no matter what’s said to these so called fans they won’t listen because they’re too focused on thinking that caskett is separated or divorced & they’re not. Every time I did scroll through the castle hashtag on twitter there was very little support just a bunch of folks complaining & whining Stana wants there acting as if Nathan wanted to do this episode without her or the show runners asked her not to be there & it wasn’t at all that, she had plans to do something else important but no one listens just wanna complain more about things. During the airing of the first episode of season 8 I knew the moment it ended people would lose it because this fandom is known for being too attached & putting something like that in episode they’d ignore the explanation as to why. Those of us that still support the writers & show runners see what they’re doing since day one. Season 7 if you ask me was filled with a lot of dry moments, don’t get me twisted I still enjoyed but last season we watched perfect caskett & it was dull & bland. That’s not what caskett is to us who have watched since season 1. Caskett has been through many bumps, forks, close calls, & intense moments, it’s like the fandom has forgotten that. When you go back & see old seasons you’ll see the spark that Alexi & Terrence are trying to re-ignite in us. Yet if you want perfection or just caskett go ahead & don’t watch it’s your loss. I said this twice & I’ll say this again. When caskett is back in the loft & things amended. Those that attacked the writers, show runners, & cast or crew will be saying ‘I knew the writers wouldn’t let us down, trusted them this whole time’. You’ve no right to say so if you at any point degraded, attacked or even said this show should get cancelled. Lastly, I wanna address something if this fandom would realize these things & have some respect for the new cast & show runners. Then when it does get cancelled it’ll be because trolls & disrespectful people didn’t know how to treat the cast & crew and they didn’t wanna do the show anymore cause of it. Personally if I had any part in the show I wouldn’t have social media because of exactly what’s been happening to Toks & the other crew & cast. After all these seasons if I was in the shoes of Stana or Nathan does this fandom deserve a season 9? I don’t think so after how rude & disrespectful it has treated everyone including other fans that love the show. Even the fanfic writers have been attacked. Lastly, it’s a tv show & at the end of the day people should not say they’ll support something then jump ship when the writers have to do something so they can continue a storyline that is unless you just want them to end it in may & be done (I don’t). If you ask me the low ratings are due to these so called fans who are whining & complaining by refusing to watch because caskett aren’t together. If people only paid attention to the story line of these two characters maybe they’d stop obsessing over them & see that story line & stop being googly eyed over caskett 24/7 plus wanting that every episode. I support Alexi & Terrence, they’ve made amazing episodes & re-ignited that spark for me. I love the new additions to the cast hayley is amazing & I love her accent too! To those supporting this til the wheels fall off, stay strong cause we know in the end things will be beautiful always.

Just to let you know why we are doing this

This is pretty much gonna let you all know just exactly why we’re doing this so here’s just that. For months now I’ve been trying to think of some way to reach out or some form to make my voice be heard because for the longest time I was procrastinating wanting to do this very kind of thing in all honesty lol. I wanted to do something so people could hear me out and maybe even get a glimpse of issues, struggles, & things in the world that just go unheard henceforth the name of this page, “Voices Unheard”. So I thought to myself, do I know anyone who would wanna help or contribute someone who would like to make there voice be heard too and I did. So in many ways, me & my friend are going to be posting things on here some of it might vary. Not everything we do, we agree on but that’s all apart of what makes us vary because our different sides might or might not open us up to seeing things from just the one sided spectrum. Onto my main point, I can tell you that some of these post will contain some struggles maybe even some faith based stuff as well. I will add that we both will be posting stuff on here because well…we want people to hear us out and we wanna hit on certain issues or struggles & things in the world that most just overlook or sugarcoat, or completely ignore. My name is Lucas & my friends name is Krisjan (hopefully that’s spelled right lol) & we are going to be voicing out on this page. Thanks for reading!