There’s a lot of fussing when it comes to relationships anymore.. what surprises me the most is the lack of learning from your mistakes. Let me make something clear, you might meet someone and it works out but for others that don’t it’s okay to admit you aren’t ready for something. Do not let the world pressure you into thinking that you need a relationship to satisfy your desires. Why you might ask? Because it’ll end badly. 1-2 year relationships crumble when all you care about is the physical aspects and lust. Each of us can give our rendition of complaints. But what about your lesson to be learned? Do you care? Some just wanna ignore it happened and move on, but where’s the lesson to be learned if you do that? Others are stuck in the hamster wheel still running because we’re still making excuses for that one person we have been on and off again with for years and for some darn reason we don’t know why it won’t work. Many more simply just wanna have a date list.. imma date this guy/girl then if this fails I have my back ups and if that fails I have another to back up the back up. A cycle, that does nothing but make you careless and heartless to the person you’re doing it to.

The stigma surrounding relationships is that of which Hollywood and TV shows try to paint for us to believe that everything will be perfect or that you somehow need to have everything in order before you’re ready to make such a commitment.. if that were the case many of you would not be dating period because you can never have everything under control or together. The stigma still stands though because many try to apply the fantasies we see on TV or movies and some wonder why it never works.. why they always get hurt. Let me make it clear that you will get hurt and how you handle that hurt speaks a lot. if you push everyone away and vow to never date again, where’s the lesson to be learned in that? Protecting yourself from future hurt? how do you know the future? how can you prevent something that hasn’t happened? You can put your guard up but all it does is make the other person you’re with feel as if they aren’t enough or that no matter what they say or do you’re still in the back of your mind banking on it at some point turning south then when it does turn south you’ve already got the exit marked cause you’ve rehearsed this line many times. Trust is earned.. not something you spill overnight or in 2 weeks. Being open takes time not minutes or a few days. Relationships have reached a point in today’s day that everyone likes the idea of a good guy or girl but they never hold to that idea and wind up chasing the total opposite getting hurt, then vowing to quit dating cause everyone is the same. Let’s clear the air here, not everyone is the same. Something we fail to see in our anger at guys or girls is that sex isn’t everything. Basing your entire relationship on “the sex is great” does not mean your soulmates. It also does not guarantee they’ll stick by your side but some bank on that. The even more baffling part is when you get someone pregnant then leave. Why can’t you take responsibility for your actions? You know what causes that and yet did it so, man up! Earlier I mentioned about a lot of us have complaints about relationships and a lot of that stems from experiencing it or it happening to friends or family. What we do not realize is this doesn’t get solved with anger towards men or women. Anger seems like a solid reaction to this but all it does is turn you bitter towards not just one person but a whole gender. That solves nothing but adds more hatred into the world. I know you are thinking well then why is it so bad for me to be angry.. I am heartbroken after all. If we sat down and thought before we spoke instead of just lashing out it’d be less angry. Being angry only makes you bitter.

Lastly, we ignore red flags due to our lust. Instead of seeing red flags as signs we excuse them. Why? Because we are so head over hills that we do not see it. Having someone who accepts you for you is great. But why do you want them to change? Why can’t you accept them like they do you and as soon as they call you out on it.. they’re no longer “different”. Lot of relationships are one sided and that’s not okay. One person going all whereas the other isn’t even trying or they’ve got one foot out the door is not okay. Working it out is a uncommon thing. We view agreeing to disagreeing as a red flag to breakup. Question, why are you still with someone if you would rather be with someone else?  Better yet, if you’re in a serious relationship and having the thought of “what if there is another out there” there’s a reason why that’s a “what if” and not a “there is”. We’ve generated this idea that we’ve wasted time being with someone that maybe we should’ve let go a while ago but really we were scared to address it and that’s understandable. But your time with that person wasn’t wasted, you grew and learned but now you’re realizing that you want more. You wanna explore more, it’s not that the person you were with was terrible or anything it’s just you’ve grown tired of the same ole same ole. But the common mistake here is the fact we try to remain close to that previous person and all it does is ruffle our feelings and make us stressed out because on one hand we still got feelings and on the other we wanna move on.

I am no relationship guru, I can be wrong. Just because I type something doesn’t make it all facts or unarguable or not open to discussion. I welcome discussion actually. But listen, if you wanna go do new things don’t time limit yourself. If you want to move on, do it. If you try to remain under the wing all you’re doing is chaining yourself down along with making justifications for it. I understand it might’ve been months or years but let go. It’s not gonna be easy but the only way you’ll ever know is if you fully take that limb and walk out. I’ve seen too many with a imprisoned mindset who get stuck in the “but what ifs” or the “he/she might be the only one” which is false cause clearly they aren’t if you’re wanting something more. Think about it, relationships aren’t easy never will be. Sometimes you have to make tough decisions. Sometimes that tough decision involves letting go and moving on. Stay strong! Don’t give up and take the time to learn the lesson in the pain and struggle.


Friendships by L.O.

There’s a re-occurring theme in today’s society.. “Friendships don’t last”.
One moment we are praising our friends the next moment we’re talking to someone about how they are.. and act and how certain things bug us. Think of it like this if the other person was doing that to you, you’d be furious. But it’s okay for you to do it to them? Doesn’t matter if something makes you paranoid about someone or something they do “gets on your nerves”.. posting.. back talking or gossiping about them in ANY form.. is not okay. It’d be like me, talking to someone about one of my close friends and telling them something like, “oh man, the other day they were just talking and it was so annoying.. or they were doing this and I wanted to just leave.”
Is that a friend? By definition.. are you being a hindrance or a friend? Look people get annoyed at petty things.. but it’s when your paranoia drives you to a point that you feel like you just can’t hang with that someone.. is when it is no longer a “them” problem but a “YOU” problem. Friendships do not last these days because people do not take the time to get to know each other.. we rush things.. we assume just cause all the right stuff was said in 2 weeks “we’re good friends now”. Why you think people who’ve been in some 2-3 year friendships off just that kinda basis.. are on again and off again friends til at some point you get fed up? Because, you never truly knew them and they never truly knew you. Same could be said for relationships these days.. but I don’t want to get off topic.

Friendships are a good thing but they don’t last forever (referring to after you die here). But what makes no sense is how we think we can talk behind our friends backs and them just be okay with it.. as long as they don’t know it. Let me post this cryptic status about so and so because they’re so dramatic or something. Wouldn’t that make you the dramatic one though? We hate drama, but start it. We surround ourselves with positive people but still try to bring them down with us. There’s a difference between joking with friends and just being downright rude. We like to make these justifications and excuses for why we do what we do when really we just want to leave them but we can’t be honest for fear of hurting them. Honesty in friendships is key but it’s lacking these days cause no one wants to trust anyone with ANYTHING anymore. We just keep to ourselves and then implode by anxiety.. stress.. and worry which is not healthy.

Scripturally, loving others and forgiving is part of what we are called to do. But lately, i’ve been wondering how you can love someone you don’t wanna talk to or the sight or mention of there name boils your blood? In that case, does that mean you have forgiven them? We are sinful and make bad choices and decisions but if we don’t reflect and see why it was that, we never learn anything. If someone lies to you, do you not learn from it? If someone breaks up with you, do you learn from it or just move on? Fleshly, we react to things out of anger and make decisions in that anger that can ruin friendships or even halt relationships, why? Because when we are on the receiving end of this stuff it hurts.. we cry, we go through many emotions but when we are the ones dealing out the harsh words we could careless? We lie? We just vanish?

Friendships can be a good thing and you can actually meet people who will hold you down and accountable and tell you the truth no matter what. But in today’s society we’ve raised teens to believe that no one is worth trusting, that you’re better off alone, and that why even open up to someone if they’re just gonna burn you in the end. How do you know they will? How do you know they are untrustworthy? Some bad examples of friends mold us into this “everyone is the same” mentality and we do it for relationships too. A bad girlfriend or boyfriend and we get on that “all are the same no point in trying anymore” mentality. We give up without even actually trying to step out on the branch and instead of stepping out on the branch.. WE are the ones sawing the very branch we’re standing on before we give things a chance to flourish or fade. Yes, people will say things and not mean them.. learning from it is all apart of life and growing. Yes, friends come and go but don’t shut yourself off and think the best result is to never trust anyone else to get close to you (with that mentality you most of the time self-sabotage any friendship or relationship because you wind up doing the very thing you don’t want to happen).

Loving others isn’t an easy thing nor is forgiving others.. but there is no limit to it and yet we limit it. Some might say, “well God has a limit to His love”.. He loves unconditionally and our attempts to box that in will never succeed EVER. Remember to always love others and show forgiveness, it’s not easy. But you gotta remember this walk of faith nowhere does it or has it ever said it’d be an easy one. God bless. 

Used to

Reading our Bible used to mean something, now all we do is fight each other over who is correct.

Reading our Bible used to mean something, until we watered it down.. let the world make a mockery of scripture by turning into “you don’t have to believe this”.

Reading our Bible used to mean getting together for study groups or maybe gathering together to discuss topics. Now, we discuss the same topics over and over, and it’s not even topics up for debate it’s a “believe this or you’re wrong” view.

Scripture used to be about preaching the truth and spreading the Gospel, now it’s about how many people can we condemn to hell and make them feel as terrible as possible and not mention a word of redemption or grace.

Scripture used to hold weight, it used to impact, but we live in a time where scripture to most is boring, outdated, or made up. Think about that for a moment..

Being a Christian used to hold an impact.. but why be an impact into this world when we as believers can just become of the world and worship God right? That’s totally okay, because I have 6 verses that back me up that are out of context and I know more than you so you can’t tell me what to do otherwise I’ll toss shade at you over social media because that’s what “Christlikeness” images right?

Being a Christian used to be a big deal until everyone started started interpreting scripture to suit there own selfish desires.

Being a believer means being held accountable right? No, it means everything you say is wrong and I’m right and if you tell me I’m wrong you’re just trying to deflect your guilty conscience.

Being a believer means surrounding yourself with others.. wrong, it means surrounding yourself with ONLY people who think the same way you do because anyone else is in the wrong or made felt uncomfortable.

Being a believer means reaching the poor and helping them, wrong it means only reaching out when it gains you follows, likes, comments to boost your pride and ego.

Being a believer means standing up for The Truth right? Wrong, you stand up then you get a few hateful comments or folks disagreeing and you water it down to suit those around you.

Being a believer means that if your friends don’t like it, then you don’t change right? Wrong, it means the moment you and a friend don’t see eye to eye you put Christianity to the side cause you can worry about that when you get older like in your 60’s right?

This isn’t meant to be sarcastic, though some may see it that way. Honestly, it breaks my heart that both scripture and being a believer in general have very little meaning anymore.. why? Because we’re set in our own little ways too afraid of change or losing friends or losing a relationship even. The VERY moment that stuff happens we toss our faith aside like it’s nothing because we don’t wanna lose anyone. Being a believer used to hold some meaning but thanks to the world telling us “hey, you can serve God and still do what you want” well.. that impact no longer bears much impact. It also does not help that many just have concluded God is false and scripture is completely made up. Thanks to the popular verses that everyone continues to shove down everyone’s throat.. most do not witness a good Christlikeness example. The twist in all this chaos is that the world is no better because it shoves it’s beliefs right back but yet the only people that get blamed are Christian’s. The world right now is in a battle of “my parents failed so I’ll just parent myself instead” but it’s clearly apparent you can’t parent when you’re underage. Our parents did not fail, we live in a world that thrives on “do whatever you want there is no bad consequences” with that logic we claim and do as we please and when told no it’s appalling because we’ve never been told no or that we are doing something wrong. All we’ve heard was “I support you”, “yes, you can”, or “it’s okay to do this”. Scriptures big verses everyone tosses around like punches without any text have lost meaning cause people are tired of hearing the same ole overused and out of context taken verses. Let’s set the record straight here, I fully believe what scripture says is sinful is exactly that. But let’s also paint a picture here, the very people in the world fighting for peace, love, and positivity are fighting for a one sided peace, love, and positivity which does not include Christian’s. It’s okay to be about those things, but when you completely dismiss someone simply because of there belief are you really accepting of all beliefs? If your sentence begins with, “I don’t mind that you believe BUT” you’ve already negated that you’re open to ALL beliefs. Let’s address the elephant in the room of, “well your belief says my belief is false.” You are free to disagree all you want.. leave it at that. But what is most heartbreaking is it is not left at that, it’s preceded to turn into an argument about how “Christianity is stupid and prayer is useless, and we’re brainwashed”.
There’s a lot here, and some of you may wonder where the solution is to all this. The solution is the person’s reading this right now. We hold within ourselves knowledge that should be shared but we don’t out of fear of what others will say. We care more about what so and so thinks than our faith in God. YOU can change this. YOU can take a stand for Scripture. YOU can take all of what you know and share it. YOU should be studying scripture for yourself, only opening your Bible once does not mean “you’re good” til next Sunday. We make excuses for our excuses. We view God as someone who sucks all the fun out of life and you couldn’t be anymore wrong.
Here’s a wake up call, the people around watch you. They see what you do, how you respond, and if you apply what you teach or say in your own life. The downfall? Those very same people conclude that all Christian’s are like that. Not only that but we make poor examples by excusing our wrongdoings.

Before someone goes all, “here he goes again acting like he’s perfect & does no wrong”. I’m not perfect, I’ve struggled for 3 years with anxiety and many other things but I am still here because of God. I still struggle and I do not claim to not deal with things. If you knew how many people have tried arguing with me over scripture or things they thought were in scripture, yes I’ve lost friends due to my faith in God but I gained new ones who hold me accountable, share there knowledge with me, pray for me daily. There’s a lot of stuff in this, but I say again the solution is YOU believers.

Plagued Thoughts

It’s a moment in time where we act on something we shouldn’t. For men & women too, that is lust. We can deny it ten thousand times, but who are we really fooling? That moment where, we act upon something getting caught up in the moment only to realize what we did. Lust is quite the tricky lady.. battle it yourself & you’ll fail. We fail, we seek forgiveness, but why are we stuck in this cycle? Why do we suddenly feel like a hamster in a wheel unable to stop and when we stop we get flung out? Heart blackened.. mind corrupted why do we think such disturbing things and cater to these images and videos knowing it leads down a path of lustful intent. It changes so much of our entire being without us knowing or even realizing it until it’s often too late. In a society that defines lust as love it’s not easy.. it doesn’t make it any easier when others tempt you to do such things. Plague.. darkness.. why is it just when I think you’ve vanished you come back and put me back in my place? Maybe instead of fighting on our own we should reach out to you God.

Somewhere in our being we feel the need to go at it alone, but this isn’t something simply solved by simply ignoring it or acting as if it’s not there. It will bring you to your knees and yet we still even ignore it. We chase it, want it, desire it, our hearts cater to it if we are not focused on Christ & denying self daily. God, why do we think walling you out is the solution? Is it due to the guilt? Knowing we did wrong & yet the mere fact you see all things means if we come to you it means admitting we were wrong? Admitting to you years of perverse & lust or porn takes some serious courage & strength because it is not easy. Don’t let the world convince you that it’s cool or okay.. cause it’s not nor is it “normal” to do these things. This mind is plagued.. thoughts are darkened by the junk we keep watching & clicking. This mind.. can be freed & cleansed but we take the bait every time and eventually become so used to it.. we eventually see no wrong and it longer makes us feel bad. The moment it no longer affects us, should not be a moment of celebration. This mind, the more we search.. the more we chase.. Lust doesn’t make relationships easy.. that lust you feel isn’t love. Because the moment you cater to it, the opposite of what you actually think happens. Satisfaction is but a moment before you’re back & wanting more. She will entice you.. tease you.. she tells you it’s harmless.. it’s okay.. she’s leading you to a path of darkness but this feeling feels so good, how can it be wrong or sinful? Oh God, i’ve fallen so many times it’s like I have this cloud around me constantly making me feel terrible about those times I messed up. I’ve sought you out God, but Satan keeps playing this game of “guilt trip” with me and I keep screaming go away.. trying to handle it on my own.. I try to walk away.. but it’s like he keeps following me.. reminding me… wait? he told me that you may not love me cause of this? Is this true God? Please do not let it be! I’ve made mistakes.. I’ve messed up so many times.. those thoughts plague me and if it be true, sometimes I find it totally justifiable but in you I am forgiven. Satan enjoys this game.. this is my weakness.. and in you I want to fortify this wall.. I want to make it a strength. Because I know in you, I can do all things.. But Lord forgive me for sometimes.. what Satan says is so slick so deceiving and yet so enticing it feels right.. and this is not my justification but my plea to say I know I will still struggle with this probably for the rest of my life. But, this is my stand.. this is my turning point. You are not alone in your struggle.. the struggle may guilt you.. hurt you.. even make you feel EVERYTHING you do not want.. but brothers & sisters.. PRAY.. read Scripture, and apply and even when you stumble.. Seek God. God bless!

Learning & Growing

As I continue to learn about church history, there’s something i’ve noticed as of recently.. Christianity wasn’t this top 5 chart for being popular back then but oddly enough.. some emperors saw it as a threat. Why? Because it was spreading & growing & they had no control over it. What i’ve begun to notice is.. we as people try to control what we can’t. We think by not doing this or that, that it will prevent the inevitable. Here’s something interesting, emperors back then persecuted many Christians but it did not stop it from inspiring more people to embrace the faith.
Let’s bring this to right now current day America, there’s an issue at hand already.. People are flocking to the wrong Christianity. This “Blessings & Riches” is not what the Genuine Gospel is focused on. In America.. we worry more about what’s gonna put money in our wallets so we can buy the next best thing.. we’re more concerned about technology & it’s progression than God or Scripture. But that’s not everyone, the only pastors you see on tv these days.. are the ones who might as well have dollar signs for eyeballs. What does this have to do growth or what I said up above? Christianity now is popular.. but for ALL the wrong reasons.. you see, we promote love (in our own versions which are perverted from Scriptures definition of love), we promote riches & blessings.. but only in the sense of “if you follow Jesus now, you’ll have a great wife.. car.. house.. and you’ll never struggle again”.. it’s the wrong version & why does no one speak against it? Because why would we wanna speak against something that benefits us? Why would wanna toss “our desires” and actually follow Christ? We’ve perverted, twisted, and deviated from what Christianity truly means.. the worst part of it all? The church itself caters to it. How so? Well, if you only preach about the non-offensive things in Scripture.. you’ve missed the point. Running people out of your church cause they don’t see “YOUR” way.. is not Christlike either. Yet we wonder why people have the nerve to call us hypocrites.. judgmental.. rude.. stuck up.. or even worse. I’m not condoning that what they say is okay.. i’m merely saying.. for them.. why should they follow something that we ourselves don’t even abide by? We skip sin.. hell… we put our own spins scripture to cater to ourselves. IT’S NOT ABOUT US! From day one.. it has and always will be about God.. referring back to my first paragraph.. at least the people back then were afraid to go against God nowadays.. we simply do not care cause as long as we are getting what we want.. “God is good”. But oh the moment everything hits the fan.. who is the first we blame? “God why would you do this to me?”, “I thought once I accepted there’d be no more struggles?”

Case & point: we’re promoting & making the wrong version of Christianity popular because this version puts “YOU” first. The REAL version.. puts God first. People back then even in the midst of being persecuted did not wavier in there faith.. and yet here we are.. and we wavier at the pettiest of things because everyone is offended. Reaching the lost does not mean watering down your faith.. anyone who says so is wrong. Reaching the lost.. does not mean you’ve lost it or are no longer Christian. Part of our mission is to reach out to those who don’t know and yet for some odd reason anyone who does so we begin throwing Bibles at them on how we shouldn’t be doing that.. I imagine this is exactly what the Pharisees & Sadducee’s did to Jesus or His other apostles when they saw them talking to the lowest of low. We’ve reached a point in today’s society where, instead of applying all scripture.. we’ve taken bits & pieces that only we are gonna benefit from and ignore the rest. It’s odd because we like  to use this argument of, “well Jesus did this or that” and instead of clarifying.. we just leave it to that but let me clarify this.. Jesus (fully man & God) is perfect.. He faced every temptation and did not give in. Here’s the hard part to swallow.. follow God’s plan, not your own agenda. I imagine the pharisees & sadducee’s thought Jesus & The Apostles were false or spreading lies. Which leads me to this final weight.. even with Jesus right in front of there face.. they didn’t believe.

Honestly, I had no idea so many Christians were persecuted in the 1,2,3, even 4th centuries.. something I continue to see a pattern of.. is even with persecution happening Christianity was still being spread.. People like to claim Christianity took from other religious beliefs.. but actually the shoe is on the other foot, all these other beliefs took from Christianity, just what they did not agree with was left out. Just like in current day America we leave it out if it offends us or goes against what we stand for. In my experiences of seeing others argue about there stands on numerous topics.. one thing comes centerfold.. instead of trying to edify or help understand.. they’re pushing so hard to get the other person to see the same way and if they do not.. it angers them.. they revert to calling you ignorant or worse. Growing up I never understood my mindset.. I always thought differently.. sought to dig deeper.. and I had this understanding but at the same time.. it was wavy because I had my pros & cons about it. The biggest weight that weighs the heaviest in my heart.. is after seeing the mountains.. standing on top of them.. looking at the stars.. and seeing all this creation and yet we deny God with ease. This post is all over the place but, my point here is that somewhere along the line.. we care more about what we’re labeled.. than our mission as believers. Why am I called a Christian artist? WHO CARES!? The argument should’ve never been started but it gained popularity because some super legalistic folks took it upon themselves to say that these men saying this were wavering or walking a fence. Lot of scripture was tossed back & forth.. and eventually we tossed people out that didn’t wanna be labeled this or that as unfaithful. Let me clarify this argument should’ve never been an argument within the body.. but it became one because we’ve gotten comfy & petty and anything outside our coziness we are against and we in no way want to understand it.. so we start digging for scripture to speak against it.. again.. I imagine the pharisees just sitting back.. plotting.. scoffing.. and just thinking up of so many “rules” that have been broken. American Christianity is a religion.. it promotes self.. money.. greed.. pride.. and lust. Real Christianity.. focuses on Christ.. loving your neighbor as yourself.. kindness.. giving to others.. and yet we keep taking from Scripture making our own version of Christianity which is dangerous.

At the end of the day, why do labels matter?
At the end of the day, why are we more concerned about how people see us than how we are seen in God’s eyes?
At the end of the day, why are we shunning those who do not know of Christ from our churches?
At the end of the day, why is our agenda more valuable than the one God has for us?
At the end of the day, the world’s definition of love is not the same as scriptural love but we keep comparing them like there compatible.
At the end of the day, Christianity keeps going.. but which one is the one you follow and abide to? I know it’s confusing.. I know it seems like it’s easier to just away.. but The Real Christianity is amazing!
At the end of the day, you’ll struggle.. have rough days.. sin.. and face trials even in your new faith in God the point is so that you’ll rely on God more.. not run away. I know it’s hard to see the reasoning.. hard to see the why.. but God is there listening.
At the end of the day.. these “Earthly blessings” will rot, fade, diminish, and rust.. and then what will you have?
At the end of the day, God is good even in the worst of times.. Trust Him & have faith! God bless you all!

Proverbial Prison

It’s one thing to cling to the past, it’s a completely different story to let it define every move or word you do and say. Our past is a lesson to be learned not something to chain us down & imprison us. Some of us live in that proverbial prison, some of us wake up every single day haunted by something we did or said and we constantly reply it in our mind thousands of times, creating different scenarios in which we say the exact opposite of what we actually said. Someday you’re gonna find yourself looking around that proverbial prison wondering how you got there.. and what can you do to get out but if you took the time to look, did you ever notice the keys have always been in your hands? We live in a constant state of fear of the future because of our past mistakes because we don’t wanna mess things up. The beauty in all this, is that you’re gonna mess up but the greatest news of all is the lesson learned from it. The issue for some of us.. we never learn that lesson so we get stuck in this cycle of constant regret, shutting out everyone, blocking off the world, reverting to feeling as if no one cares but you couldn’t be more wrong & once again there’s a lesson here to be learned, that this prison or cycle you’re in can be broken and you can be freed from it. But FIRST, you have to realize the keys this prison are in your hands. YOU are the one keeping yourself locked in and YOU are the only one who can open the door to realize you could’ve been free this whole time but regret, fear, self-doubt, worry kept you from it. That proverbial prison can’t hold you, but if you hold to the belief that you’ll never be freed it will hold you, but not because of the prison itself but because of YOU will be the reason you’re there. If nothing can stop us, why does our fear & worry cripple us? If nothing can stop us, why are some of us standing in a prison cell of defeat thinking EVERYTHING is ruined? If my mindset can be freed, can’t yours? If my mindset can be set free from the chains that have anchored me down for years, don’t you think the same can be done for you too? If that’s true, then why do we tell ourselves that our case is different? Is it because the road is gonna be bumpy? Is it because we look ahead & realize to ourselves that our lives can actually be freed & it is in that moment we fear we won’t have anything else to worry about? And if we don’t have anything else to worry about, that scares us because for so long we’ve worried about anything & everything to the point of anxiety & panic attacks. Is it truly the fact that the very fact of freedom from our own mindsets are we put us into fear the most because if we have nothing to worry about & we’ve given it all to God that the mindset we relied on for years is hard to re-train to not worry about anything? If my mindset is trained to think one way, it won’t be easy to train it differently but it’s not impossible, especially with God.  This proverbial prison we’ve created for ourselves has no guards & there is no one else there but us but even we are there voluntarily because we put ourselves there. We weigh ourselves down with stress, worry, fear, anxiety, and that doesn’t go out to those who severely struggle with anxiety and need medicine to help it. Take it from me, medicine doesn’t always help sometimes you may have to find an alternate way to manage your anxiety. Out of everything we want to be freed from it, some are & others spend there lives dealing with it but they learn to manage it instead of letting it dictate there life to where they forever live in a turtle shell. If all we do is live regretting the past, we’re like hamsters in a wheel we’re just running endlessly and though we wanna stop we know that if we do the wheel doesn’t just stop it keeps going and will sling us to and fro like a ship facing tough waves. In our minds, the thought of being free is slim to none but the only reason it’s such a low probability is because we made it slim to none. If your mindset can be freed then why do we spend so much time thinking to ourselves it never can or never will be freed from the past? We enslave ourselves to our past like we owe a debt to it, some of us wear our past so much so that it’s like nothing we do is ever right or we are always doubting the decisions we make and we turn a good decision into a regret because we allow our past to continue to dictate us. If nothing can hold us down, why are we holding ourselves down & yet wondering why we can’t move forward when it is us and no one else? We point fingers at everything, God, Satan, people, job, or events but what if it is not those things that are the centerfold issue but rather it is us pointing a finger at everything else but ourselves because for so long we’ve believed this lie that there is no way we can be at fault and that it has to be something or someone else? The chains that hold us down, keep us there because we’ve found comfort in the midst of the storm. We know that if we move forward it’ll rock the boat & we fear of capsizing  into the sea not because of fear of drowning or being eaten by sharks but fear that it’ll rock us to our very core and create change that may cause us to change things about us and while that frightens us it also shakes us because we’ve gotten used to something for so long we don’t wanna change or budge. We know that this change isn’t bad, but we conclude it to be bad because of the comfort zone with which we’ve created, our proverbial prison, that excludes everything including change. It contains thoughts & ideas of change but nothing ever to be actually acted upon. The mind is a tricky thing, for some we are living day by day finding joy in life & praising God. For others, our mindset is already on 2019 or 2020 and we’re worried about things out of our control but to somehow feel in control of things we anchor down & shut out even shut down maybe even revert to hardly speaking because to some we think no one wants to hear what we have to say, but that’s not true. If God is with us, why do we still fear & worry? Is it part of our flesh? Is it Satan feeding us lies? At our core, Satan wants us to believe the lie about many things and if he can get you to believe that you thought it then that’s the worst thing because then you’ve fallen for it. Is it just a natural reaction to certain events in our lives? We worry about things like death, what’s next, our future, etc etc.. but in all honesty we can have a plan but that doesn’t mean it will always go according to plan, they’ll be bumps along the way maybe even other routes we have to take instead of what we originally planned. We worry about our future but cannot control everything. We worry about a lot of things that we cannot control, death, but yet we try anyway. Some of us are stuck in the past though, and it drags behind us very noticeably even though we try to hide it or put on a smile as if that hides it. We have to remember that this prison we’ve created for our mindsets or selves we are standing in it with the keys in our hands. You can be freed, you can unlock the door & walk out but again the fear of what comes next hits us and suddenly we don’t wanna step out because it seems safer inside this prison cell. Living in a constant state of worry, fear, regret, doubt is in no way safer. The more you ponder on unlocking the door and walking out the less likely you will do it. So, simply do it but keep in mind you’ll face tough times but there’s a lesson to be learned in every tough time. Don’t let your past keep you down!


Maybe you just don’t hear me out from the many times I have reached out or maybe you have heard but it’s same sad song and routine that I keep going back to. You stare at me with enticing thumbnails aimed at pleasure and satisfying my needs but all I see is road that leads to death and an unattainable pleasure because my view is skewed by your slick, sly, and beautiful way with words. Your promise is that “no one’s watching or only I have to know” but that’s just it.. if it’s only me that knows then I am internally suffering from a disease but in order to be cured I have to admit it to you and one might find that a bit embarrassing to do. Your slick words and provocative poses lead many down the road of destroying innocence, lust, and even sex. What they don’t know is.. you could careless as long as you’re destroying them & filling there mind with your perverse terms and phrases. You tell them “it’s okay, everyone does it”. But then when you see your girlfriend, boyfriend, or husband, wife and they fail to satisfy you, do you then go down the road of breaking up and divorce or do you give into there false fantasy that they Invision that’d you one day do? Your road destroys relationships and marriages and screws up the definition of what true love is. What is one to do when in today’s world around every corner or website these images lurk about? One click and that road is no longer smooth sailing.. it’s high tide and the boat seems like at any moment it could capsize. Your purity hangs in the balance, yet we let the world convince us of how to run a working relationship and how to do this or that.. but yet the world only has selfishness at the centerfold of all it does and yet we listen to it soaking it in like a sponge. The voice in your head tells you, “it is just one image, click on it” from somewhere something in you says, “don’t it is a trap.” We shake off the second voice why? Cause it wasn’t convincing enough? It didn’t use lustful words to grab your attention? It didn’t have some provocative image telling you no. Our hearts are deceitful and yet we are told to follow them wherever it takes us. We are following an impulse emotion that eventually runs out of juice and we end up unhappy not only with ourselves but with where we are. Thanks to some of those images, some can’t even be in a relationship due to the fact that they expect whomever they are with to do what goes on in those videos like it is okay or normal and it’s neither. She leads you down a pathway of death and ruin, and as sheep do we follow until we finally recognize that something isn’t right.. we aren’t always happy, satisfied, and we feel This road was so enticing but yet we chose the road that merely is an enticement with no real promise merely lies and emptiness. Her words may be slick.. her beauty may be astonishing but on the inside her plan is to ruin you… destroy your perception of love.. your perception of relationships.. your view on marriage. But that’s all fine and dandy for a 6 or 7 minute video right? Wrong. She has nothing good in mind and yet like a fish to bait we are hooked before we even know it. We can’t see past the beauty.. we can’t see past the enticing words and sexual fantasy in our head because we think not with the one on our shoulders and we want nothing more than to fulfill this addiction of ours. You call it normal, I call it sin. You say it is okay everyone does it, I say do you listen to everything anyone says is okay? Cause not everything is okay. There are consequences for actions and while you may not be thinking of them at the time.. you should think first and then ask yourself this.. “is this sinful?” typically one might ask that question and assume it to be perfectly okay which is a complete misconception because our sexual desire has taken over our thought process and we don’t think rightly. Self control is key, yet something many exercise not and make excuses for later. Why? If we exercised self control in many situations things wouldn’t end up in regret or emptiness.