Proverbial Prison

It’s one thing to cling to the past, it’s a completely different story to let it define every move or word you do and say. Our past is a lesson to be learned not something to chain us down & imprison us. Some of us live in that proverbial prison, some of us wake up every single day haunted by something we did or said and we constantly reply it in our mind thousands of times, creating different scenarios in which we say the exact opposite of what we actually said. Someday you’re gonna find yourself looking around that proverbial prison wondering how you got there.. and what can you do to get out but if you took the time to look, did you ever notice the keys have always been in your hands? We live in a constant state of fear of the future because of our past mistakes because we don’t wanna mess things up. The beauty in all this, is that you’re gonna mess up but the greatest news of all is the lesson learned from it. The issue for some of us.. we never learn that lesson so we get stuck in this cycle of constant regret, shutting out everyone, blocking off the world, reverting to feeling as if no one cares but you couldn’t be more wrong & once again there’s a lesson here to be learned, that this prison or cycle you’re in can be broken and you can be freed from it. But FIRST, you have to realize the keys this prison are in your hands. YOU are the one keeping yourself locked in and YOU are the only one who can open the door to realize you could’ve been free this whole time but regret, fear, self-doubt, worry kept you from it. That proverbial prison can’t hold you, but if you hold to the belief that you’ll never be freed it will hold you, but not because of the prison itself but because of YOU will be the reason you’re there. If nothing can stop us, why does our fear & worry cripple us? If nothing can stop us, why are some of us standing in a prison cell of defeat thinking EVERYTHING is ruined? If my mindset can be freed, can’t yours? If my mindset can be set free from the chains that have anchored me down for years, don’t you think the same can be done for you too? If that’s true, then why do we tell ourselves that our case is different? Is it because the road is gonna be bumpy? Is it because we look ahead & realize to ourselves that our lives can actually be freed & it is in that moment we fear we won’t have anything else to worry about? And if we don’t have anything else to worry about, that scares us because for so long we’ve worried about anything & everything to the point of anxiety & panic attacks. Is it truly the fact that the very fact of freedom from our own mindsets are we put us into fear the most because if we have nothing to worry about & we’ve given it all to God that the mindset we relied on for years is hard to re-train to not worry about anything? If my mindset is trained to think one way, it won’t be easy to train it differently but it’s not impossible, especially with God.  This proverbial prison we’ve created for ourselves has no guards & there is no one else there but us but even we are there voluntarily because we put ourselves there. We weigh ourselves down with stress, worry, fear, anxiety, and that doesn’t go out to those who severely struggle with anxiety and need medicine to help it. Take it from me, medicine doesn’t always help sometimes you may have to find an alternate way to manage your anxiety. Out of everything we want to be freed from it, some are & others spend there lives dealing with it but they learn to manage it instead of letting it dictate there life to where they forever live in a turtle shell. If all we do is live regretting the past, we’re like hamsters in a wheel we’re just running endlessly and though we wanna stop we know that if we do the wheel doesn’t just stop it keeps going and will sling us to and fro like a ship facing tough waves. In our minds, the thought of being free is slim to none but the only reason it’s such a low probability is because we made it slim to none. If your mindset can be freed then why do we spend so much time thinking to ourselves it never can or never will be freed from the past? We enslave ourselves to our past like we owe a debt to it, some of us wear our past so much so that it’s like nothing we do is ever right or we are always doubting the decisions we make and we turn a good decision into a regret because we allow our past to continue to dictate us. If nothing can hold us down, why are we holding ourselves down & yet wondering why we can’t move forward when it is us and no one else? We point fingers at everything, God, Satan, people, job, or events but what if it is not those things that are the centerfold issue but rather it is us pointing a finger at everything else but ourselves because for so long we’ve believed this lie that there is no way we can be at fault and that it has to be something or someone else? The chains that hold us down, keep us there because we’ve found comfort in the midst of the storm. We know that if we move forward it’ll rock the boat & we fear of capsizing  into the sea not because of fear of drowning or being eaten by sharks but fear that it’ll rock us to our very core and create change that may cause us to change things about us and while that frightens us it also shakes us because we’ve gotten used to something for so long we don’t wanna change or budge. We know that this change isn’t bad, but we conclude it to be bad because of the comfort zone with which we’ve created, our proverbial prison, that excludes everything including change. It contains thoughts & ideas of change but nothing ever to be actually acted upon. The mind is a tricky thing, for some we are living day by day finding joy in life & praising God. For others, our mindset is already on 2019 or 2020 and we’re worried about things out of our control but to somehow feel in control of things we anchor down & shut out even shut down maybe even revert to hardly speaking because to some we think no one wants to hear what we have to say, but that’s not true. If God is with us, why do we still fear & worry? Is it part of our flesh? Is it Satan feeding us lies? At our core, Satan wants us to believe the lie about many things and if he can get you to believe that you thought it then that’s the worst thing because then you’ve fallen for it. Is it just a natural reaction to certain events in our lives? We worry about things like death, what’s next, our future, etc etc.. but in all honesty we can have a plan but that doesn’t mean it will always go according to plan, they’ll be bumps along the way maybe even other routes we have to take instead of what we originally planned. We worry about our future but cannot control everything. We worry about a lot of things that we cannot control, death, but yet we try anyway. Some of us are stuck in the past though, and it drags behind us very noticeably even though we try to hide it or put on a smile as if that hides it. We have to remember that this prison we’ve created for our mindsets or selves we are standing in it with the keys in our hands. You can be freed, you can unlock the door & walk out but again the fear of what comes next hits us and suddenly we don’t wanna step out because it seems safer inside this prison cell. Living in a constant state of worry, fear, regret, doubt is in no way safer. The more you ponder on unlocking the door and walking out the less likely you will do it. So, simply do it but keep in mind you’ll face tough times but there’s a lesson to be learned in every tough time. Don’t let your past keep you down!

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